In an age where agony must be monetized to matter, your suffering has finally found its place: in a shopping cart. Welcome to the collapse, now available with next-day delivery.

Access to women-centered spaces isn’t free, and it shouldn’t be. The tax is discomfort, accountability, and humility, and every man who enters owes it in full.

Instead of eating the rich, we blocked them, then ordered Uber Eats.

Gamers refused to pay ten extra bucks for complete games—so the industry handed them loot boxes, battle passes, and a smiling mascot whispering, “Insert Cash.”